Restuarant Ratings System

The Scale: I use a 1 to 5 scale on a bell curve. That means that 40% of restaurants will get a "3", and only 10% will get a "5" or a "1". Ratings go by half points. In cases where a rating doesn't apply (like Wine for a brunch restaurant) it simply won't be listed. In general, most ratings mean:

• 5: Stupendous
• 4: Well above Average
• 3: Average, pretty good
• 2: Below average, middling-poor
• 1: Really bad

So, for example:

Food Rating

• 5: Really amazing, be prepared to moan aloud.
• 4: A few really memorable items and the rest of the menu good.
• 3: A few pretty good items, and some mediocre ones, and maybe one standout.
• 2: Not so good, stick to the recommended items and don't take chances.
• 1: Where is the Health Department when you need them?

The Wine List and Vegetarian ratings mean specific things:

Wine List Rating

• 5: Extensive wine list including dozens to hundreds of wines, carefully selected with low markup, and a skilled sommalier to help you make your selection.
• 4: Good wine list which either has a couple dozen good wines, or unexpected low markup on several really good wines, or at least well-planned regional focus on the wine list.
• 3: Average wine list: a few good wines out of a selection of a couple dozen, with 100% to 200% markup in the US.
• 2: Less than 20 wines available, and high markup on what is there.
• 1: Three varieties of Sutter Home for $7 a glass.

Vegetarian Rating

• 5: It's a vegetarian restaurant.
• 4: Several choices of vegetarian items for each course, all of them just as interesting as the meat items.
• 3: One or two vegetarian items for each course, half of them good.
• 2: Only one vegetarian item on the menu, plus salads.
• 1: "Vegetarian? You some kinda communist, boy?"

Noise Level

This and expense are the only ratings where it's better to have a lower amount.  Accordingly, I give Noise level in bells, using the @ symbol:

• @: Completely quiet, great place to have a serious meeting or sit Zazen.  No background music.
• @@: Quiet when restaurant is slow, but you may have to raise your voice a little when it's very full.
• @@@: Acceptable background noise (probably annoying music) at off-peak, but at seven on a Friday night you'll have to shout.
• @@@@: All hard surfaces and open kitchen with rock music on the speakers.  If you don't know sign language, forget even trying to talk.

PPPIE

Also, many ratings will include a price tag "PPPIE", which stands for "Price Per Person Including Everything". The idea is to answer the question, "how much money do I need to have in my wallet to consider dining here?" This price includes, by meal:

• Dinner: appetizer or salad (maybe shared), one alcoholic drink, entree, dessert (maybe shared), tax, and tip.  For "small plates" restaurants, two and a half small plates per person.
• Lunch: Shared appetizer or side (if appropriate), entree, soft drink, tax, and tip.
• Brunch: entree and coffee, one side if brunch items come naked, tax and tip.

Expense

In some cases, where I forgot to keep my receipt or ordered a peculiar meal combination, the review will include an "Expense" figure in dollar signs as well. This is based on the same meal items as PPPIE, but has a more general range of amounts.

• $: less than $10
• $$: $10 to $25
• $$$: $25 to $50
• $$$$: $50 to $75
• $$$$$: $75 to $100
• $$$$$$: More than $100